Healing and recovering from cancer and chemotherapy is a lengthy process. Just because treatment is over doesn’t mean the aftermath dissipates, even if we survivors look fine. My digestive system has never full forgiven me for the chaos I put it through with the aggressive chemotherapies and then the targeted therapies. It went from one extreme to another (see The Real Deal With All of the Feels…). After going through the cancer life, I now make sure I stay on top of routine tests and today was another big C word, although less frightening, it was the fun known as the colonoscopy!!
The prep is definitely the worst part. Mine was a series of twelve pills that I had to take twice, one dozen at 6pm the night before and the other dozen six hours before my scheduled test. That meant no sleep but hey, that’s ok, I got to have a forced beauty nap after my medical grade cleanse!! I’m all for that! Getting back to the pills, they were HUGE. Twelve pills and 16 ounces of water sounds doable and it was…unitl 20 minutes later had me nauseated. An hour later was another 16 ounces of water and then thirty minutes after was the last 16 ounces, til 1:40am. Let’s just say those pills work really fast and I’m happy to report no shower curtains were harmed in the process. I started the whole thing over again at 1:40 this morning and got a wave of nausea almost immediately but muscled through. Oh it worked…over and over and over…
My morning did not proceed without a hitch. My husband was supposed to drive the teens to a camp they are volunteering in and then drive me. That pretty much fell apart when they got there and it wasn’t even open. Change of plans meant the dynamic duo of teens would have my oldest drive them to and from a little bit later. He recently got his license and isn’t a huge adventurous spirit so the thought of driving didn’t please him. He went along and did it while my youngest texted a play by play of all of their turns, right down to when they parked. They’re home again and fine! The mom anxiety never stops!
By the time I made it to the Medical Center, I was starving and thirsty and probably dehydrated. The entire process from walking into the building to walking out was 90 minutes…of fun. Yes, I said it, fun! It was a very cheerful atmosphere from start to finish with virtually no waiting. I was given fluids pretty quickly and wheeled in where the doctor was waiting for me. He was in the mood for disco and decided Funky Town would be a good song for me to nod out to…the song will never ever be the same for me now!
The long and the short of it, I’m good! Before you even ask, yes, I was terrified. This time not of being put to sleep but the whole, “what if they find something bad?” After all, my digestive system hates me and it’s a literal crapshoot on a daily basis. I had to put my fear and anxiety aside months ago and schedule the appointment with a gastroenterologist to get this all set up. As much as he was able to answer all of my crazy questions at a rapid pace and do so graciously, I was still terrified. Any screening process sends my head right back to the routine tests that found Felicia and declared me HER2 enriched. There is an unspoken amount of PTSD that becomes our ride or die after cancer.
First words I heard when I woke were “you’re good, no cancer so breathe….” Before going in (pun intended), my pulse was all over the place and my blood pressure was elevated. Afterwards, I was chill AF. I got my Dunkin coffee on the way home and made myself some breakfast, washed my car and then my husband’s SUV, cleaned and made a fresh stir-fry for the kids who were due home. If chemotherapy didn’t knock me down, a short forced nap certainly won’t.
If you’re on the fence about scheduling your own colonoscopy, don’t be. Just do it. It’s not so bad, the prep isn’t awful and honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. In case you’re wondering, I used SUTABS. It works fast, no cramping nor bloating but it works dang fast…and keeps on working, even afterwards…
So, it was all shits and giggles, definitely not a pain in the butt and even though I was terrified, in the end, I got it done...
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