The last two years have flown by, I wish I could say it was a blur, but it wasn’t. I can still feel the wound of hearing I had cancer, the discomforts from multiple surgeries. The sounds of the infusion center and the quick searing sting of my port being accessed are still vivid. Perhaps those things will linger around a while longer, who knows. I am here because of those things.
During that time, well known celebrities have either died or become stage 4, both very difficult things to process as a survivor. It brings back the fear and takes days to collect myself back and move on. Also during that time, I’ve read more articles about new treatments and therapies in the works that show promising results, bringing forth hope and optimism.
I am lucky. Plain and simple. Mine was caught early. I tolerated the big guns in the chemotherapy world. My heart did not get weathered by the Red Devil nor the targeted therapies. I bounced back from surgeries rather quickly and never really missed a beat in my daily life with my family. I’ve made it through with some bumps and bruises and am perhaps a bit shell shocked but I’m good with that.
There seems to be a little bit of trauma that comes along for the ride of life when you have been diagnosed with cancer. I know for myself that I as approach anniversary dates having to do with it, I become more anxious and find myself having to reread things I wrote after various doctor visits to convince myself that I am ok. I am ok. I will continue to be ok
Cancerversary, it’s an odd word for an odd day. Two years have gone by since diagnosis and no one wants to celebrate being diagnosed. However, two years have gone by and I’m alive, that is worth celebrating and acknowledging the milestone. It’s bittersweet and I don’t want to tempt fate. With HER2, if it’s going to come back, it likes to do so within the first five years. That’s sobering and I do at times struggle with that fact.
Cancerversaries are not to be taken lightly. It’s important. Cancer warriors are some of the toughest and most determined people I have ever met. It took a lot for me to get to this two year mark. Double mastectomy, 20 rounds of harsh chemotherapy, 18 targeted therapies and reconstruction. Don’t be fooled by my tiny stature.
I am two years out from diagnosis. Older, wiser, a little unfiltered, I’ve embraced the person I have become. Cancer unlocked the door to a better life for myself…now excuse me while I go celebrate me…