Occasionally, during the course of my incanceration, I’ve tried to figure out the how and why of it all. Biologically, I know the how and why but cosmically, it escaped me. I’ve always felt that the universe balances everything out there, and there are reasons that we are not always able to see while we are in the middle of it all. I learned and grew from the storm of my cancer journey.
Cancer and chemotherapy afforded me greater insight in how I can best protect my family. I’ve done this before. The self quarantine, the social distance, trying to eat to help keep me healthy. I walked out of that battle a little tattered and torn but armed with information. Information I thought I would never have a use for but, well, here it is. Who better than me to lead my family and protect them? I can protect myself but this has caused me to step up my game with teaching them how they can really protect me. Perhaps that is why I am at peace within my home.
We are called to climb over some monumental mountains. I thought mine was cancer. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe that was to show me that I am stronger even when I am panicking over current news events.
We have been asked to social distance for at least fifteen days. I say at least because we all know it will take longer than that to really see a difference in the amount of new cases of COVID-19 to drop. In reality, this means no socializing unless it’s with your own circus. It means limiting your time away from home. To us, that means one grocery run per week and we execute the dance of shopping like an exuisite ballet at the Met. We each have a vital role. He hunts and gathers and brings home the bounty where he then rushes to decontaminate himself, while I decontaminate the goods and basket, followed by floor and counters.
Yes, my world has been turned upside down again. Ain’t that some shit, y’all. It’s more than not going to the gym or shopping or socializing. My kids are home as is my husband. There’s little free time during the day but that’s ok. This circus is mine. I have one kid who needs help with his online learning so I’ve become his extra teacher. I stay within earshot so that he can talk to me while he works. But it’s more than that.
We were in the process of selling our home and about to start an epic dream. That’s on hold now but it’s okay. Plan A changed but there’s quite a bit more letters in the alphabet and my brilliant husband has ideas. I’m not worried about that. My only concern right now is getting through this COVID-19 season.
All of us have put our lives on hold. Every single one of us. Even our kids. They’ve lost the social aspect of school and hanging with their friends. Some of us are working from home, dreams are on hold. We are all a little more tired and worn from stress and worry. We are all little bit bored and stir crazy. Take it from me, the former self quarantined cancer patient, the Queen of Quarantine. Look for the good in it. It is there. Find it and embrace it and share it within your walls. Don’t lose sight of yourselves in this. Find safe ways to enjoy the days until you can venture out into society and see and be with your people again.
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