The fifth infusion of Taxol is done. I am almost half way done as I only have seven more hour long infusions to go. The second infusion of my targeted therapies is done. Fifteen more of those to go every three weeks until January. It’s not bad. It’s boring though but that’s a good thing. I am feeling fantastic and have really stepped up my game in the gym. Working out is probably why I am feeling as good as I am.
For the most part, I forget on a daily basis that I am a cancer/chemo patient until I get a glimpse of baldilocks staring back at me in the looking glass!
As horrific as it is hearing the words “you have breast cancer” may be, it’s not the end. Life doesn’t have to stop. There are many different combinations of the breast cancer disease, each with their own protocols. Women with stage four and metatastic disease are living longer and full lives thanks to so many advances. Ten years ago, I’d be doomed with the one I got. Today, I’m in good shape with a bright and happy prognosis at stage 2. Things in the field will continue to get better and better. Don’t be afraid to get screened and should you hear those words I heard, grieve, but know it’s just a small pause in your life. Look at it as a comma and not a period signaling the end of a sentence. Chemotherapy isn’t scary, people don’t typically die from it, but certainly can die without it. In the big picture of my life, this hasn’t been the biggest hurdle to overcome.
With so many women getting diagnosed at early ages, 50 and below is considered young, it begs the question, why? Well, first of all, like I said, advances have made the screening process amazing so many more women are being caught and treated early, when the outcomes are best. So many factors come into play when evaluating our risk factors. Let’s take a look at mine.
Genetics can play a strong role. If women in your family have had it, there’s a possibility there’s a genetic component to it. I went to a geneticist. This wasn’t the case for me. I have an aunt who died of Leukemia at 76 years old last August in Brasil. My father was diagnosed with a rare blood cancer seven years ago and has had many ups and downs since, coming back from grave situations each time. Most recently, he traveled back to Brasil with my mother, against doctors orders, and wound up in and out of comas over the course of 34 days. He did not make it. The odd thing about Waldenstrom’s is that it’s very much treatable and people live for decades with it and die of something else. It takes close monitoring by a great team to have a great quality of life and a good outcome but one needs to seek the help and stay on top of it. His cancer was situational. Mine is as well but I’m on top of it with a wonderful team of specialists who I trust and listen to.
What does situational mean? In my case, it’s a combination of things. My undergraduate degree is in chemistry. I handled lots and lots of chemicals. I’m a female who stood proudly shoulder to shoulder with my male peers and took no special precaution aside from the lab coat, goggles and rubber gloves. I have no regrets, I did not want to be treated differently, I was no shrinking violet. I dealt with a lot of carcinogens over the years, between undergraduate degree and working in industry and then becoming a high school chemistry teacher. Strike one.
Early in my marriage, my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer so we decided to (thankfully unsuccessfully) pursue in-vitro fertilization with ICSI. That meant lots and lots of hormones. No Bueno. After a few, we decided adoption was the best route for us and now we have two lovely boys who are somehow clones of our personalities! Strike two.
I never birthed any babies nor breastfed. Strike three.
There’s my trifecta. There are other smaller but still significant contributors to breast cancer. There are so many Super Fund sites in New Jersey. That’s not good. Monsanto. Ugh. Do you have any idea how hard it is to navigate the supermarket and find non Monsanto products? Perhaps someone will create an aisle or entire store dedicated to non Monsanto products and make my life easier. GMO’s and pesticides are too prevalent in our diets. I stick with mostly whole foods or minimally processed but it’s still really hard to avoid. Ladies, take a harder look at what is being used in your beauty routine. Haircare, skin care, make up, deodorant…these things add up. I dare ya to go read some labels...Scary, ain’t it?
They know how to treat me, they know how to cure me but they can’t avoid me from being diagnosed with breast cancer. I can arm myself with knowledge and try to avoid things that are known carcinogens and try to live cleaner and healthier. I plan on sticking around for a very long time!
I have quite a bit to look forward to in the near future. My last date of chemotherapy is rapidly approaching. A few days after that, I’ll be taking a Reiki certification class at the hospital, led by my holistic nurse. A few weeks after that will be my final reconstruction. I cannot wait to see what I’m finally going to look like!! These expanders look nothing like the real deal!! To quote Judy Blume, “We must, we must, we must increase our bust…” I finally get to do that through my plastic surgeon! Perhaps y’all can join me in a slightly different chant…we care, we care, please let her grow her hair! Thanks in advance for your help!
Oddly enough, I kind of enjoy my chemotherapy sessions. I’m not thrilled about the accessing of my port but I just close my eyes and hold my breath for a moment. I enjoy my nurses, they’re kind and really look after their patients. I really look forward to my holistic nurse each week. Between Reiki, reflexology, accupressure and guided meditation/imagery, time flies while I’m there and I leave feeling very grounded and relaxed. She's seriously awesome!
Why am I always so upbeat and positive and appear to be fearless? I believe in the power of the positive spirit. I believe my doctors when they say I will be ok after all of this and I carry myself that way. It’s an affirmation I remind myself daily when I walk past a mirror and am briefly reminded that I’m a cancer patient. Don’t be fooled, the bald head catches me off guard at times and I jump once in a while! I am doing all of the things that are good for me, I am living as though I am not a cancer patient because, soon I will not be. I am getting the universe to conspire with me in bringing forward all the good things to me. I will be fine. I will be healthy. I will have a long life. Don’t get me wrong, I do have mini freak outs every so often, my husband talks me off the crazy ledge every time. It’s the power of the spoken work and the power of the mind. We could all stand to be a bit more positive in life, don’t you think?
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