New Year, New Chemo and New Me!! I started the last leg of my chemotherapy journey last week with a 9 hour session of chemo. Don’t worry, it was mostly ‘hurry up and wait.’ The new main chemotherapy drug tends to cause a reaction as well as one of the targeted therapies. They slow the roll on those and wait an hour in between to let it ‘cook.’ Basically, I have one chemotherapy drug left on my list of cocktails and two targeted therapies (immunoclonal antibodies, not to be confused with immunotherapy) left. I wish this particular cocktail could incorporate a Caipirinha into the infusion because the Benadryl wasn’t fun! Here’s how it went down…Checked into the cancer center, met with oncology nurse who took my blood and vitals and then sent me to my oncologist. My oncologist over all of the results, asked questions, checked me (referred my for physical therapy to fix T Rex arm) and then explained what the day would bring. After all of that, down the hall to the infusion center where I waited for my little suite for the day to begin…15 minutes of steroids, 15 minutes of Benadryl, wait 30 minutes, 1 hour of Herceptin, wait an hour, an hour of Perjeta, wait an hour, 15 minutes of Benadryl and then 45 minutes of Taxol with a team of nurses planted at my side monitoring my blood pressure, pulse and oxygen and asking a million questions. Why? Well, that’s the scary chemotherapy one. Lots of people have a bad reaction and they administer medications to reverse the reactions. Luckily, I had none. I do
zed off during round one of the Benadryl but was wide awake for the rest. Fear of the unknown will keep me wide awake for hours. After a very long day, I was home by 630pm, and not super tired but not super wired. I was told I may be awake for a day or two straight due to the steroids but I did sleep soundly for the entire night.
Day 1 post chemo, I was feeling awesome! I went for a run at the gym, cooked and cleaned and basically had a great day. Day 2 was a carbon copy! No fatigue, taste buds were back, no nausea nor aches nor pains! Winning! I had my first physical therapy appointment that day and it went really well. Hopefully soon, my left arm will be functioning at full capacity again. Day 3, nothing! Wow! Could this be the kinder and gentler chemo of my dreams? Well, not so fast. I got hit with excrutiating ear pain while driving home from a local boutique. Normally, I fluff those things off but when you’re on chemo, you can’t. Something minor can easily land me in the hospital if I am not careful. I called the after hours line for the oncology department and lucked out by getting my own oncologist who wanted me to get the ear looked at but not at the Emergency Room, since that didn’t go well back in November. After several phone calls and a fair amount of driving around, I found an “Urgent Care” place that understood my situation and told me to come right in and they’d place my in a room away from everyone and get me registered while the doctor looked at me. I literally did not wait at all while I was there and the nurses and staff that were in contact with me all wore masks to keep me as safe as possible. I definitely have an ear infection that was just starting and medications were prescribed. I felt better quickly. Days 4 and 5 were nothing short of perfect. I feel completely like myself, as though there has never been any chemotherapy in my life. I like this feeling alot.
One of the things chemotherapy has done for me is it has made me become very aware of my body and how it feels and reacts. If something is even slightly off, I don’t wait. It’s an important lesson that I want to share. I’ve been told I run to the doctor for most things. I’m good with that description. I was raised on NOT going to the doctor and just letting things run it’s course. That attitude is like playing Russian Roulette with health and life and I’ve seen it take it’s toll on a family member. I’m not a betting kind of girl. Going to the doctor on a regular basis is what is saving my life. I joked last year that it seems that the older I get, the more appointments I have. Again, I am good with that. It can be a bit inconvenient, some of those appointments are less than comfortable but they are all important. As adults, whether or not you are married or have children doesn’t matter here, we need to be in charge of our health and get checked and live well. You owe it to yourself. Do me a solid and make appointments and go?
One of the other things I have heard is that I talk a lot about having cancer and chemotherapy. That’s accurate and I am again good with that. Here’s why…I wish someone who traveled this path before me did. I would have felt less alone, confused and scared. I want to normalize the conversation and hopefully help women out who are facing similar issues. So far, by doing so, I’ve helped someone in another state find free services for a mammogram and her issue turned out to be benign. I’ve helped another woman in my state find a new team of specialists for a second opinion. Keeping quiet on such a large health issue helps no one. I notice on my own town “mom” page that there are always questions about finding a podiatrist, optometrist, dentist, urgent care, etc…but no one dares to mention oncologist or cancer related questions. It irks me. There’s a lot of wisdom to be shared if we could just say something. Perhaps I am starting my own little revolution? Who knows…
On a happier note, the hair on my head is starting to come back while the hair in my nose is all but gone! If I put my head down, it’s like a leaky faucet of runny snot! No fun to have a perpetually runny nose! Aside from the leaky nose, I have leaky eyes! Chemotherapy dries a person out like mad! My eyes are chronically dry and over produce tears so I have to use drops several times per day. When my eyes tear, my nose runs even more. Yay me! I’m not entirely sure if the slow growing stubble on my head is here to stay. My oncologist said not to be shocked or upset as it comes in now and it has nothing to do with whether or not the chemotherapy is working. It’s quite normal. I’ve managed to stop the loss of my brows and lashes by rubbing castor oil on them twice a day. I’ve started to doing that to my bald little noggin as well…
Since the chemotherapy drugs take several weeks to leave my system, I’m guessing I still have s a little red devil lurking around causing the eyes and nose issue. As it works it’s way out, I’m thinking those will start to get better and Taxol is kinder and gentler to my system on a weekly basis as opposed to the dose dense AC I had previously. I feel remarkably great, as though I have not had any chemotherapy at all this past week. The hardest part of this new regimen was just sitting around and waiting at the hospital. If it weren’t for my shiny head, wonky foobs and protruding port, I don’t think most people could tell anything was going on…but I am not hiding it. I’m putting it all out there for the world to see that it’s ok.
Being able to go to the gym may also be a part of why I am feeling so much better. Maybe it’s purely psychological, who knows. I do know that exercise is important normally but it becomes critical with chemo. We are told that we need to keep moving, especially on chemo days. Keeping our hearts strong is always a good thing. I have noticed a sharp decline in my crazy pulse and my blood pressure went right back to where it normally was. I need the exercise. One of the weird things about these foobs and exercise is that I don’t need to wear a sports bra, according to my plastic surgeon. The very idea of those things bouncing all over the place freaked me out until I tried running. Lemme tell ya, they don’t bounce. Expanders are not fun bags at all. They don’t look like regular boobs, nor react nor are happy squishy things. There’s no bouncing. I’ve checked. In the mirror. While jumping. You’re welcome for that visual. Soon, I shall have quite the lovely set. I have an end date for chemo and a date for the exchange surgery. I'm in it to win it.
All in all, I wouldn’t change anything about my journey. Yes it sucks going through all of the operations and chemotherapy. Although I have lost parts of me, I have gained quite a bit more. I appreciate just how fragile life is and look to see where I can spread goodness as there’s too much dark out there now. Instead of asking “why me?” I’ve chosen to try and figure out what I am supposed to do with all of this. Maybe that’s the lesson I am supposed to learn…
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