This is my third Thanksgiving since being diagnosed with cancer. Each one has been markedly different. The first one landed me overnight in the hospital due to a tiny spot of infection on my back and a heart rate that would not cooperate. Last year, things were on track to normalcy. I was still in treatment but feeling more like myself. This year, well, the only word that sums up this year is pandemic, but I’m very thankful for all of the calm my chaos has afforded me.
While I was in chemotherapy, I would limit my outings to a trip to Bloomingdales right after my infusion, along with a stop for coffee. I wanted to feel some freedom before my counts would take a hit. That was 20 weeks of my life. While continuing on Herceptin and Perjeta, I was cautious with where I would go and still avoid crowds of people. Then there was forty more weeks of infusions that finally ended this year. My chaos of cancer and chemotherapy had left me well prepared for my current life. I was living the quarantine life before it was cool. Call me a trendsetter! I walked out of treatment only to turn around and hunker back down, this time, with the kids and husband all home with me, for the long haul.
We sold our house during the chaos in New Jersey. People coming and going from my home left me nervous but we had protocols in place. Most people were good about following the state guidelines and we had a realtor who looked out for us as well. We bought our current home sight unseen, Face Timing our Florida realtor was how we became familiar with our home and it is perfect. I walked into my dream home.
We drove down, making many stops along the way for food and bathroom breaks, always with Lysol, spray alcohol, hand sanitizer and masks. These things have become a way of life for us.
It has been over two years since I have had a normal life. Over two years. Let that sink in for a moment. I don’t mind it as I understand why I am doing it. My immune system took a hit from being in treatment for over a year and it will take some time to return completely. I can wait. I’m good at it now. The current pandemic has been sweeping through our nation and world for almost 9 months. I’ve got y’all beat. I get the frustration and wanting to get life back to normal but it’s only been 9 months for everyone other than me. Hang in there. If I can do this for this long, so can you. People like me are dependent on the rest of you.
I am thankful to have my sons home with us for e-learning. It is not ideal for any of us but it is what we need to do to keep me safe. This has allowed us to spend more time and do more things as a family that we could otherwise not do. It also allows them some flexibility in their day.
I am thankful that my husband is home and retired. There were opportunities for him to remain in his role but he knew that would not be in my best interest. He handles the outside world for me of errands. That’s a task I have been more than happy to hand over to him!
I am thankful to live somewhere that I can spend time outdoors all year long. Being active is a pretty big part of my life. I like to run, go on hikes and swim. Where we are has allowed me to continue this all year. Oh, the produce too! I’m in veggie heaven here as my husband hits the local farm stand every week and brings home bags of healthy fresh surprises! It’s like an episode of chopped when I go to cook and I so love it!
I am thankful to be done with treatment and to no longer have my port. This gives me lots of free time! I am still dealing with some lingering side effects but nothing drastic. I can fling snot like a maniac and still have hella aches, especially when I don’t stick to my anti-inflammatory diet.
I am grateful for my cancer experience and the wisdom and patience it has granted me. It has made the current pandemic and quarantine life easier for me and allowed me to know what to do for my family. All of my old safety protocols for keeping me from getting sick have been in perpetual motion and kicked up a few notches since my diagnosis to present day. I have the patience to know that life will go back to some form of normalcy at some time. This is not the time, nor is it going to be any time too soon. I’m good with that. My family understands and they’re good with it as well.
Around me, I hear and read about people looking forward to starting the new year in a few months. People want to leave this year behind. I don’t. This was not a bad year for me. In fact, it was wonderful. I finished chemo and targeted therapies then lost my beloved port. My sons and husband are home with me. I finally got my dream of moving to Florida and it’s even more magical than I could have ever wished for. My family is with me, I’ve got a wonderful spouse and loving teens. All that I need and want, I have. I’m very lucky and for that, I am thankful…