Extraordinary

Each milestone in my cancer journey was marked by a Mantra Band.  When I was diagnosed, “Stay Strong” was given to me. When I completed 20 weeks of aggressive chemotherapy, I bought myself, “She Believed She Could, So She Did” and then “Warrior” for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, oh trust me, I am more than aware!  Two months ago, I bought myself a rose gold “Survivor’ and never took it out of the box.  I was more than hesitant, perhaps a little fearful of jinxing my last few infusions.  Every once in a while, I’d look at it and come close to taking it out of the box but then I’d quickly put it away…

My last infusion overwhelmed me.  I was actually very nervous.  I was worried about that last visit with my oncologist, fearing that something would be off and my infusion would be postponed.  I needed number 18 to complete my treatment.  I was worried that my blood levels would be off.  Imagine my relief upon hearing that everything was up and back to normal!  I am most certainly on my way to recovering! Most important to me is that my immune system is back up and running but I swear, if you cough or sneeze near me, I’ll mace you with Lysol, bleach and hand sanitizer.

We talked about what it meant to be an HER2 patient and survival.  Statistics. May the odds forever more be with me, right?  There’s a lot of data on the interwebs, old and outdated data.  In the world of breast cancer, being diagnosed at 46 and completing treatment at 48 is relatively young.  We treated my aggressive cancer with as much aggression as we could.  Go big or go home is what we did.  As a result, I’m good to go.  Nothing in the world of cancer is ever 100% but I am up there, as close to 100 as they can get.  The odds of recurrence for me are so ridiculously low. 

Ladies, if you are ever diagnosed, talk statistics only with your oncologist and stay the hell off of google.  December is when there is a lot of new data published and it takes a long while for it to become mainstream.   Be careful with chat rooms, forums and support pages on Facebook too.  There is a ton of misinformation out there, most of which will scare the ever living life out of you, unwarranted.  Those places are filled with people who are fearful, worried and undergoing active treatment.  It is where we all go to vent and ask anxiety riddled questions, and that is most of what you would see.  People who are out living and thriving tend not to post.  I plan on changing that myself by posting the good in order to share that HOPE I so desperately sought.

My infusion went off just as

planned.  I burned the sound of my machine chugging my drugs to my port, as though it was a beautiful aria, singing the song of my life, culminating with a loud melodic beeping telling me, “Infusion Complete.”  I was done.  Fifty-two weeks of targeted therapy, not immunotherapy tyvm, had come a close and I was free to go.  There was no bell to ring, nor gong.  There was no fanfare, no balloons, no cheering, no celebration.  It ended as an ordinary infusion would, but in my heart, this was not ordinary.

Technically, I became cancer free on 10/11/2018 after my double mastectomy and lymph node dissection but this is now when life stops standing still.  Upon realizing that, I quietly pulled the bracelet out of my pocket and finally placed it on my wrist…survivor and that’s extraordinary.