It’s hard to imagine being grateful when you’re diagnosed with cancer, but it’s doable. What exactly is there to be grateful for? The answer is simple…life.
I am grateful to have access to the top physicians, surgeons and specialists in this area and that my insurance has covered everything. Because of this combination, I was diagnosed early and my prognosis is that of a full life ahead. The cosmetic, medical and psychological outcomes have all been miraculous, in my opinion.
I am grateful to have had the quality of life that I did while undergoing some of the harshest chemotherapies out there. While on the Red Devil, I would be ok from my Wednesday infusion until mid day Saturdays, when I would crash and burn and power nap like no one else could for the day. Sunday, back to the mom life of grocery shopping and getting the kids all set for the week ahead. I managed Christmas shopping, holiday events and gatherings with minimal complications and hospitalizations. I joined a gym and began to run and train again. I sought out ways to make my life as normal as possible.
I am grateful for the outpouring of love and support from all sorts of directions. My husbands colleagues wore pink, made posters and sent meals to my home. The positive energy coming from people I don’t know all that well made me smile. The Market Basket meals for a week made life easy when I got out of the hospital from the double mastectomy. We looked forward to seeing what was coming each day!
Friends from my street and all over town sent flowers, delicious dinners, soups, desserts and goodies to my family. Surprise visits, random socks and breast cancer gear lifted my spirits and kept me riding on the wave of love through the doldrums of winter. I wear a mantra band daily that was given as soon as I was diagnosed. It reads "Be Strong." It is a reminder that I am loved and I need to remain strong...and I love it.
I am grateful for the support from the school for my sons. I had several people really looking out for them and making sure they were handing my cancer situation in a healthy way. Whether it was helping with organization, study skills or just having someone to talk to when it was needed allowed me to better focus on getting through treatment as unscathed as I could. They say it takes a village to raise children. This year, it was apparent that I have a village behind me at their school. If this makes us the Village People, I want to be the police officer please!
I am grateful and so proud of my sons for helping me get through this. Aside from their schoolwork, they took on many tasks at home that I could not do. Between dog walking, laundry, vacuuming, putting things away, helping me cook, and so on, their days were busy from when they’d fist wake up until bedtime. They happily ate whatever I made and packed for their lunches, they LOVED the week of nachos! Chemo belly gets what it wants. My oldest rose to the challenge and became more independent and was able to advocate for help in school when he needed it, maintaining amazing grades all year and acing most of the assessments and assignments. My little guy made the transition into middle school, which is rough enough. He did it gracefully and I am proud. He practiced playing the clarinet diligently and was able to figure out how to play pop tunes on it all on his own and just for fun. He branched out and made many new friends and maintained good grades. There were small bumps along the way but they are remarkable young men who should feel very proud of how they handled this year.
I am grateful for the love and support from my husband and his ability to make me laugh at some of the most insane things. That combination kept me grounded and sane. With a demanding and high profile and pressure career, he more than did his share in helping me get through these past nine months. When the schedule would permit, he’d be at various specialists offices for consults, cracking jokes like a fiend and lightening the mood. After the first surgery, he took over my duties for a week as I couldn’t do much of anything, while still working remotely from home. Cooking was another story though. I won’t give up cooking. We have a shrimp and pasta story that send the kids into fits of laughter and that’s the reason he doesn’t cook. He doesn’t have a 9-5 job, more like 7am-9pm a few days a week, yet, he made it all work out for me and the kids. He took mission impossible and made it happen anyway.
I am grateful it is summer. The end of the school year brings forth so much good. I am done with harsh treatments, no more surgeries until I get my port removed next year, I am feeling stronger and healthier as the days go by and my kids are done with school and home with me. It's the start of long sunshine filled days, in more ways than one. I get my life back, in some ways, it's beter than it was before. In no way is it worse though. I may be a little tattered and shabby. Like the Velveteen Rabbit who "didn't mind how he looked to other people, because nursery magic had made him Real, and when you are Real, shabiness doesn't matter, " I've embraced my shabiness now, it's me, and I am Real.
There’s something about being grateful that makes life better. With cancer, it’s too easy to get stuck inside our heads and despair. If we can pull our heads out of our butts and realize that things can always be worse, we start to feel a little grateful for what we do have. That little feeling can snowball into something beautiful. No longer does life seem to suck ass when you’re feeling horrible. All of a sudden it becomes brighter and more clear. If we are always ready to express thankfulness and return kindness, we see the good in life. That’s more important than what’s wrong. If we are truly grateful, there’s a feeling of happiness that comes along for the ride. It can lift us when we are down. We have the ability to do it for ourselves.
I am not grateful for cancer but I am grateful for all that it has blessed me with. If I have been able to have so many things and people to be grateful for in such a dark time, you can as well. Think about it. Make a list. Watch your spirits soar. Let’s start of trend of positivity in our lives daily. What are you grateful for?
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