What a crazy shit storm this cancer journey has been. When I was in my 20’s and in college, I had issues with one of my boobs and long story short, it’s how I met my medical oncologists. She was just starting out her career and I loved her no nonsense approach to women’s health. I’ve had several contract duct excisions on both girls, leaving lefty smaller than righty… but I never cared. I also really never cared to read the pathology reports until I was diagnosed with cancer last year. Naïve me thought that breast cancer could only occur in and from the ducts and since I was pretty much cleaned out, I thought I was in the clear. I had undergone several central duct excisions so I thought there was no way breast cancer would happen to me. We all know how that turned out!
Well, I am disappointed in myself. I am well educated and read a lot and felt safe. Apparently I was not as well versed as I should have been in women’s health issues. Getting diagnosed with breast cancer makes you learn stuff real quick, all of it scary. Trust me. Ladies, educate yourselves and daughters because…it’s that time of year so I’ll just say it…early detection saves lives. It does. It’s not a load of crap as some people may want you to believe.
I’ve heard the grumbles of we need more money into funding studies of prevention and all that other stuff. Honestly, let’s use a little common sense here. There are soooooo many things we can do to give ourselves a running start so that hopefully cancer won’t open up a can of whoop ass on us. Put the chips and soda down, turn the tv off or put the phone down, grab some greens and take your ass for a walk. That’s the common sense stuff I mentioned. Not hard, not complicated and totally reasonable. Yes, it’s not the cure all and won’t stop some things BUT why not give ourselves a fighting chance. Because I did these things prior to being diagnosed, I got through aggressive chemo and surgeries rather smoothly, like my bald head. This may be why money goes into research for treatment. We need that money for treatment. I am beyond grateful for all of the funding that has been put into research and pharmaceutical as I am alive and will be for a long time now.
Many things have changed over the year in the world of HER2+ cancer. We not only have Herceptin and Poojeta, um, I mean Perjeta, but we have Nerlynx, Kadcyla and Tykerb. These are game changers. As unhappy I am about being jabbed in the port every three weeks, I know that H/P works to shut of cell receptors on and in my cells. We need one year of that after chemotherapy and my year is done in January. Then what? Am I done? Maybe, maybe not.
I chose to tackle my particular cancer of IDC and DCIS HER2+ and hormone negative with HUGE guns. I opted for a double mastectomy instead of a lumpectomy. I knew going in that Herceptin was in my future. Chemo doesn’t get determined until after they see if any lymph node were involved. Felicia made a beeline for my first sentinel node and made herself cozy there after messing up lefty. Still, from the beginning, I knew she was under 2cm. My tumor wound up being much smaller than originally thought and it was micro in the node. Node positive meant definite chemo, even though all margins were very clear. While my husband was upset about this, I wasn’t. In my head, I wanted the chemotherapy. I wanted to envelop myself in the security blanket it provided me with. I would know I was throwing everything at it.
There is another approach to this, the one I didn’t take and I’ll explain why I’m telling you about it in a few…bear with me…
Some women opt for chemotherapy first in hopes of killing the cancer and shrinking tumors. This approach usually happens with larger tumors, Once the course of chemotherapy is done, either a mastectomy (single or double) or a lumpectomy happens along with a sentinel node biopsy. At that time, the surgical and medical oncologists can determine if there was a complete pathological response to chemo. I’ll never know if I would have had a complete pathological response to chemo because I flipped mine. Not everyone gets the CPR. Some people have tumors shrink and leave residual cells in the lymph nodes, some people have their primary tumor continue to grow and spread further. It’s a crap shoot. If you’re thinking Holy Shit that’s scary, you are correct. However, I am still very comfortable and happy with my choice of course.
However, my choice may have impacted whether or not I may be able to get Nerlynx as I may not fit the criteria now. That bothers me a bit as HER2+ likes to come back and hang in da brain. Like a damn zombie, it wants the brains. Nerlynx is one of the few drugs that can cross the brain barrier and kill it. I kinda sorta really want this drug. Everything I have read says I don’t fit the criteria as I am considered low risk. I like the sound of low risk but want this like a junkie looking for their next fix. I want the security blanket of killing that it would provide. Do I ever regret my choice of surgery then chemotherapy? That’s a fair question and my answer is a very firm no. I would have lost my damn mind if I went the other route.
I had a cancer that typically doesn’t like to let go. It took many things from me over the year, all of which I am getting back slowly, hopefully! It’s still a bit discouraging to walk past a mirror. I’m elated when strangers complement me but that feeling is always short lived. Some days, I ache more than others and other days I’m just wonky all over. Although cancer and chemotherapy took quite a bit out of me and from me, I’ve left a path of cancer destruction in my wake. I stopped waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel and lit that bitch up myself…and I don’t look back…
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